Here we go again....

Not really sure how much sense this blog will make since I am on a fair amount of meds and the pressure on my brain tends to make my I.Q. drop, I swear. BUT anyhow, here we go again. Surgery.... that word that makes my blood pressure raise, my heart speed up, and makes me want to vomit. However, it seems that my body really enjoys surgery....and longs for that stench of hospital smell....and likes it when I cant wash my flippin hair! 

So the question of the last 2 years....WHY? Why, why, why, why, why?

The answer... I DON'T KNOW! But, God does! And I have faith, apparently more than I realized. More than I thought I was humanly possible of having, and I trust! That's right, me, full of trust issues and what not does trust with all her heart that God is in control and has a perfect plan & will work this all for good. Why?

Because the Bible tells me so...alright this IS true. But, because I couldn't do this without that faith and trust. So, I guess it is kind of a selfish reason I believe that everything works for good, but I do not care if it's selfish. Because I keep getting told to be selfish and being unselfish hasn't worked for me, so let's try something new!

Deep breath.... this is life. I guess that's the hard part, we all have our things, and I am grateful for my "thing." I AM! I am!

So one more time into the cold surgical room, one more time under that dang knife, one more time.....and let's hope its the last time....please God? I tap out and give in...

I can do this one more time... because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...

Taking back my health!

Taking back my health!

Starting this day, November 14, 2011, I will take my health back! I will do everything in my power to get healthy, not skinny, not loose weight, but get healthy. I will not be discouraged if I gain weight or the scale doesn’t budge because that is not what this is about. I am ready to be healthy again…

My body is a beautiful creation of God and I would never mistreat any creation of God the way I mistreat my body. I will make healthy food choices, knowing that sometimes I will fail, knowing that sometimes I will just want Taco Bell and there will be no stopping me! But, when I am done stuffing my face with chemicals and fats I will get right back on track and not beat myself up or give up.

I will choose to spend the extra money on organic, when I can, because I am worth that extra money and this creation is worth taking care of. I will fight for this, even on the days when I do not want to take care of myself I will push through because I CAN do it.

I will exercise AT LEAST 3 times a week for an hour each time, this can mean walking, this can mean running, this can mean Dance Central…but I will get in 3 hours of exercise each week…and more if possible!

I will let my DVR fill up, because I will be so busy moving: playing fetch with the girls, cleaning, and dancing that I will not have any desire to watch more than an hour of t.v. each night. I will allow myself to fail sometimes, with a good movie or a Saturday morning of snuggles with the girls, but it will be ok.

I will try to choose foods that I know where they come from, try to choose whole grains, try to choose organic…. When this is not possible I will not binge or stress I will simply move on.

I will do all of this and get my body healthy because I want to treat this gift that was given to me right. But, I will also be doing this because I want to be the best wife I can be, I want to be the best servant I can be, and I want to be the best mom I can be. I want to be around and healthy for my family & instill good eating habits in my future children, who no doubt will struggle with weight as well.  I will do this not only to give thanks to God, but because being a good servant means taking care of the gifts we are given.

I WILL SUCCEED!

Succeeding doesn’t mean being a size 2, or being perfect, but constantly trying to be as healthy as I can be. I know that it will take time, I will not instantly feel healthy, I will not instantly love this new lifestyle, but with patience and time I will love what this decision has done for me.

I am a gift from God, created in His perfect image and I need to take care of my gifts! I will succeed, because I am worth it!