Here we go again....

Not really sure how much sense this blog will make since I am on a fair amount of meds and the pressure on my brain tends to make my I.Q. drop, I swear. BUT anyhow, here we go again. Surgery.... that word that makes my blood pressure raise, my heart speed up, and makes me want to vomit. However, it seems that my body really enjoys surgery....and longs for that stench of hospital smell....and likes it when I cant wash my flippin hair! 

So the question of the last 2 years....WHY? Why, why, why, why, why?

The answer... I DON'T KNOW! But, God does! And I have faith, apparently more than I realized. More than I thought I was humanly possible of having, and I trust! That's right, me, full of trust issues and what not does trust with all her heart that God is in control and has a perfect plan & will work this all for good. Why?

Because the Bible tells me so...alright this IS true. But, because I couldn't do this without that faith and trust. So, I guess it is kind of a selfish reason I believe that everything works for good, but I do not care if it's selfish. Because I keep getting told to be selfish and being unselfish hasn't worked for me, so let's try something new!

Deep breath.... this is life. I guess that's the hard part, we all have our things, and I am grateful for my "thing." I AM! I am!

So one more time into the cold surgical room, one more time under that dang knife, one more time.....and let's hope its the last time....please God? I tap out and give in...

I can do this one more time... because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...